Thursday, December 19, 2013

History is only important if it's not icky.

Missourians have a weird relationship with the gay community. There is a lot of outspoken support on the east and west borders because large cities tend to run more liberal, and you have the bible slinging Baptists in between who don't want none of that gay marriage getting mixed in with their wholesome straight marriages and divorces.

But this isn't about marriages. This is about history. Gay history at the Missouri history museum.

STL Today has a story about a local man donating quite a few artifacts of historical importance to the gay community. He's giving it to the Missouri History museum for display.

I add the link to the story, but don't read the comments section. It's filled with some of the most convoluted logic espoused by seemingly intelligent people I've ever seen. It's disheartening, frightening and sounds like every argument throughout time to deny people rights. I don't understand the logical leap of two adults consenting to a relationship crossing over to fucking cows and children.

All I can say is to stay here and laugh at the stupid. Your arguments are valid, but will fall on deaf ears in that pit of madness.

Yeah, fuck learning about people not like me. This is America and we don't do that faggot bullshit.

Rick Akins here has the perfect profile photo for most of the comments in this post. A middle aged white person of privilege deciding what history is important and what isn't. I imagine he's upset that there will be dildos all over the place rather than some good old fashioned civil war historical artifacts.

I do love me some plain ol' fashioned ignorance in my comments. I'd love to know what discussion John Gardner wants to have about AIDS. I'd put money on him believing a gay man fucked a monkey and got AIDS.

And as we all know, no straight person has ever contracted HIV or AIDS. It's only the queers butt banging monkeys up and down the African coastal line.

Secondly, the term "Gay Bowel Syndrome" is considered to be obsolete and derogatory. The term was coined in 1977, which we all know was a time of tolerance and humanity toward homosexuals all across the country.

The high instances of suicide has to be the most self oblivious thing anyone could ever say. Yeah, LGBT people have a high rate of suicide. Probably because many of their fellow humans believe they don't deserve the things their straight counterparts are privilege to, like marriage and not being told they are going to hell.

Promiscuity? According to an OKCupid poll, there is a 1% difference in promiscuity between gay and straight singles. I imagine a lot of that misinformation comes from the belief there aren't swingers clubs and places for straight people to go and have lots of anonymous sex too.

I mean, do they think only gay people want to hang out in bath houses?

Missouri history consists of Dredd Scott, Jesse James and Harry Truman. Also, the Missouri history museum had a showing of underwear and under garments throughout the ages. Much of the standing displays at the museum focus on Missouri, but it isn't absolutely necessary. History is history, and if they get a good exhibit, they shouldn't turn it down just because it's not directly related to Missouri.

This is like going to the St. Louis art museum and demanding they get rid of the suits of armor and mummies because it's NOT ART. STAY WITH ART!

I look forward to doing a future post about people bitching about modern art...

Tony Albers is all over that comments section like tasteful window treatments on an upscale Central West End apartment. I can make the argument that everyone should be given a chance to learn about their history because we are all humans and whatever any of us do molds and shapes the fabric of our past and future. That it's the shared experience which makes this display important, and that perhaps it can convince one closed teen to be a bit braver, or make one hardened heart a bit softer.

In the end though, how about we just stop being dicks to one another? Especially when it comes to funding. Are gay taxes supposed to be separate? Does the gay community get to use gay streets?

Pictured: I-270

Well, that's two people for a museum dedicated to the gays. Paid with gay taxes and built on the gayest of grounds by gay construction workers, gay architects and NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED! You'll only get in by using the secret handshake, which is getting butt fucked with a guy named Guido in a studio apartment with track lighting while the best of the Village People blasts in the background.

Donald Vetter here is a perfect example of why gay rights are so important. It wasn't too long ago that black people were considered separate but equal with their own restaurants, water fountains and parts of the bus. Of course, the blacks got all the shitty parts of everything, but were totally equal.

The idea of segregation of any kind being touted by an American in 2013 means they haven't been paying attention. Besides, homosexuality isn't like skin color. You can't just see it and know. I can't even imagine the kind of testing someone would demand to determine sexual orientation. I imagine it would involve Donald up there demanding something pretty gay being done. Like butthole diameter measuring or something.

Yeah, sex through the ages has never been a topic of discussion or study. The have never been museum showings, never been historical artifacts depicting sex, never been studies on the human brain or those things we do with the parts in our bathing suit areas.

And fuck you, I'd be down for seeing some polygamist artifacts. What is everyone's deal with being so concerned about fucking in these comments? Multiple marriages means nothing more than hot sex with multiple people. Can't have anything to do with religious views because SEX!

Jesus forbid we learn about the way someone else lives.

This is the modern version of "Niggers shouldn't marry white people and if you don't agree, you're being intolerant." You don't get to call "INTOLERANCE" when someone is calling you out on being an intolerant douchecanoe.

I can't even imagine how these people think two people of the same sex getting hitched is going to affect their lives. Your terrible churches aren't being forced to preform ceremonies, and your asshole preachers don't have a gun to their heads to marry them. You can be perfectly insulated from the fantastic world around you and let the rest of us have fun.

That's it everyone, no more spending money on science, research or other frivolous things until the state is debt free. Stay in your houses, sit on your hands and let's pray the debt away.

Of course, having one of the only museum displays dedicated to the history of homosexuality in the country would probably bring in quite a few people from neighboring states which would dump money into the state's coffers via state and sales tax from interested people.

I find the people who scream the loudest about taxes know the least about how capitalism works. You gotta holla for that dolla, and if your hollering includes "MISSOURI HAS A HISTORICAL MUSEUM EXHIBIT DEDICATED TO THE HISTORY OF THE LGBT MOVEMENT. PLEASE DISREGARD THE COMMENTS ON STL TODAY AND COME SPEND YOUR DOLLARS IN OUR STATE!" then so be it.

Aaaand your word soup of the week. With fourteen likes, no less. I looked up "My Two Lincolns" and didn't find anything which would really explain this one. There is a theory the Lincoln may have been a bit on the gay side himself, but I imagine it keeps getting overshadowed by that whole not-letting-people-own-other-people bit.

Will the display be worth it? Fuck if I know. Will I go see it? Maybe. Should it exist? Of course it should. It should be in every museum dedicated to history because it's us. It may not be me or you, but it's about fellow humans, and that's important. From the bones of Lucy to the feather boa of Liberace, it's all important.


  1. My two lincolns = my two cents.

  2. Lincoln is on the penny. He is saying "my two cents".

    Oh, humans. Will we ever find a way to stop making ourselves SO separate from each other and of getting ourselves all worked up over how other people live their lives?

    I am just shaking my head at the ridiculousness that people make up to support their belief systems. I hope that exhibit happens and it is up long enough so that the next time I'm in town I can go see it and support the History Museum. Thank you for shining a spotlight on this silliness and hopefully encouraging the History Museum to DO IT, because I suspect it will actually bring in more supporters than detractors, and either way, it's publicity, which all of our museums need.

    The whole idea of museums being for straights only makes me laugh so hard....AYFKM? Oh my.

  3. Also, I found your blog through the links posted in the comments of the RFT website, which you either write for or they ripped off your post. But just to say, that's how I found this blog, and it's pretty darn funny - and so full of that Sarcastic Wit St. Louisans (at least the ones I know) are known for. I miss that out here on the West Coast. We just have "passive-aggressive politeness", which I have never really gotten used to navigating.

    So rip off or not, it led me here, and that's pretty darn cool.

    1. Like the page on facebook to get weekly updates. I can't say with 100% certainty the blog was ripped off, but that particular writer has generously borrowed from STL based websites in the past.