Monday, October 13, 2014

St. Louis hits a comments tipping point

I've been out of the game for a little bit because the whole Ferguson thing really turned the normal shit show of news comments into a constant repetition of idiocy. There are only so many times I can screen cap "Where are the protests against black on black crimes?!?!" Or "Pants up, Don't Loot" before you're going to start getting really irritated with my updates.

This weekend St. Louis police shot and killed a man in South City who allegedly shot at the cop first. There's plenty of speculation and blah blah blah, you know the drill.

But a tipping point has been reached and things have gotten weird.

What a magical flag we have. Obviously everyone angry and protesting are on welfare because that's the only thing that makes sense to most of these people. Why on earth would someone who makes a living wage ever be angry about something?

You'll notice a pattern with this kind of thinking. If you call anyone out for a comment like this, you know they're going to say "Well, I didn't say black, you did "YOU'RE TOTALLY THE RACIST NOT ME" when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt they aren't picturing a white person when they say this shit. Yet whenever a white person kills someone, words like "Thug" aren't used. Welfare isn't brought up and comments sections tend to be more sympathetic.

Comments like this aren't exactly word soup because there's a coherent thought pattern, but at the same time it makes no god damn sense. When people talk about white privilege, remember this post. Because even the dumbest dipshits in the world can make enough money to post on facebook if they are white

Micheal Wilding gets featured here a lot for his not-racist but totally racist remarks. I doubt any protester had this guy as a supporter ever for anything. Unless it's protesting common sense.

And I don't know where this idea comes from that everyone protesting is on welfare. I know the Darren Wilson supporters liked to tell protesters to get a job during the Ferguson protests. Of course, completely ignoring the "We support Darren Wilson" protesters I've seen in the middle of the day. I'm sure they all just have vacation days to use up.

As for respect, fuck you Josh. Everyone should get the same amount of respect as a human being. Every time I meet someone who tells me I have to "earn their respect" I generally discover they aren't people who's respect I give a damn about.

Yes, I hope all these bad black people get shot because the nice black man named Michael at work doesn't deserve this. In fact, Michael hasn't said anything about how these protesters are bad, so he might be just as terrible. At least his name isn't DeShaun or something that doesn't sound like a good, Christian Anglo name. Why, Michael even talks in a way I can understand! And he introduced me to good black music, like Luther Vandross. None of that hoppety-hip that THOSE people listen to! Not my Michael!

Can anyone tell me what a common black person is? 

David apparently has finger diarrhea because he is just typing shit all over my internet. I'm not sure how the Swedish police system works, but I'm fairly sure there isn't anything about killing based on gender.

Take note of these assholes because they are straight up calling to go around shooting people in the streets. I doubt they would because these are the words of cowards, whiners and over all little children, but they are certainly tough keyboard warriors.

This is what I hate about some gun owners. They want to kill someone. They hope and pray and dream of the day that they can pull the trigger. They probably hope it's against a black man who's broken into their house to steal the gold they've been hording and afterward raping their women.

When we talk about mental health in the gun culture, remember these people as well. Remember Rich Novak, Jose Capo and Michael Wilding because they all probably have no difficulties obtaining firearms. And they obviously have no business owning them.

It's a god damn flag, you assholes. Lighting one on fire isn't going to bring Washington DC to its knees. If it did, you'd probably have done it as soon as Obama was elected.

You can't deport someone who's from America. You'd just be forcing them to live somewhere else. And then probably bitching about how much it would cost in taxes.

Well Panama, the two aren't the same people. Most people are praying and peacefully protesting. A small minority are acting like dicks.

Nice Assyrian mythology call-out, though.

I'm fairly certain this is some kind of flash mob/improve class homework.

Literally every cliche possible. All it needs is a "Winners don't do drugs" to cap it off.

Houston weighing in on the South City economic stability. Glad to hear all about how our city doesn't have people who can pass the Police test from some dipshit over a thousand miles away.

Honestly, the reason no one in TGS becomes a cop is because they are all vegetarian and couldn't abide becoming pigs.

Ugh, this guy. Apparently A) Marines are so dumb they would blindly shoot people in South St. Louis because someone tells them it's Fallujah and B) I manged to Bootstrap my way to the top so THE REST OF YOU CERTAINLY CAN AS WELL

As always, I believe about 15% of things I read on the internet, and even less in a the comments section. Fuck this guy and his profile picture of a shot grouping. And fuck you calling for contractors to use MY TAXES to quell a protest. Blackwater was a joke and most of us in Iraq hated them because they managed to fuck everything up with their cavalier "Fuck it, shoot them all" attitude that would get us dragged to the Hague.

I mean shit, someone broke a window, stole a flag and burned it. Someone best call the National Guard because shit is about to turn into Shock and Awe up in here.

Poor Sonia, she needs to get up tomorrow to go to HER JOB where she MAKES MONEY for the HOUSE SHE OWNS in THE NEIGHBORHOOD SHE LIVES IN and has no time for rowdy protesters!

And how dare anyone show any solidarity with their fellow people. Am I not allowed to come to TGS to protest because I live in Carondelet? Because I've been reading people not even from this damn country weighing in on what's been going on in the area.

Though to be fair, I make fun of the Cherokee street hipsters because I've never seen people more up their own asses about neighborhoods they don't live in. Buy by god do I want their money to pour into my neighborhood.

If there's one thing I can say came from these protests, it's the first time this statement has been uttered.

For the next decade, every shooting in St. Louis is going to be compared to Mike Brown, and in many ways we should be questioning the way our police do their business.

But these people make it hard to listen to what anyone else has to say outside of their echo chamber. There are deep seated issues in this county and especially this city, and no one on top of the racial food chain wants to sit down and talk about it. 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

KSDK took my baby away

The school season is here. Soon, all those little shits who roam the streets like loud, selfie driven wild animals will be herded back into their Government approved babysitting and I can take a day off without having to shake my fist or use the hose to spray down kids on my lawn.

A growing number of parents are taking photos of their kids on their first day of school in an attempt to create some kind of photo album at the end of their high school career. Of course, most of these people don't understand how to even use the phones they have in their hands beyond taking a photo and uploading it to facebook, so I don't worry too much about my social media feed being stacked with photo albums of children smiling next to their future, scowling selves.

KDSK wants to see these photos and are urging parents to share their back to school photos. Unfortunately, the internet has hit maximum paranoia on perverts and murders and the balance is shifting from THIS IS SO ADORABLE to I'M NOT POSTING MY BABY BOY SO HE CAN GET MURDERRAPED!

Running rampant! Sounds like kids are getting snatched up left and right. However, you can do whatever you wish with your children's safety if you like. I'm sure no one will stare disapprovingly at you with pursed lips and crossed arms.

So we need societal guidelines now to keep us safe from all the sweaty dudes in panel vans. I wonder what those guidelines would be.

1. No talking to strangers. Even other children. The friends you have are accidental and you shouldn't make that mistake in the future.
2. Weekly perimeter checks of the bars on the windows to keep you properly locked in
3. Every year, the chain and lock we use to keep you secured to the couch will be replaced 

Next week's post: Why do children just play video games all day?!?!?!?

Are people under the impression that they have children that are just too pretty to not get raped? Pedophiles probably don't troll the KSDK facebook wall for new children to snap up.

I could be wrong though. If you're a pedophile and you do use the Facebook walls of local news affiliates, please comment and correct me.

What exactly is the thought process here? If we don't say where children go to school, no one will know to look in schools for children? Or they will see your child and be overcome with pedo desires.

Searching for "Saint Louis sex ring" (hey there NSA!) produced some information about human trafficking in the area, prostitution busts and a few "House of the Rising Sun" type places. It didn't bring up any underground child trafficking network. But again, I'm not too sure if these things exist or not. If you're part of an underground child trafficking sex ring, please comment below and correct me.

Again, I'm not saying you shouldn't be cautious with your children, but the next generation of kids are going to come out weird if this is the current trend of suburbanite moms. Kids who were dragged to Jazzercize or Billy Blanks Tae Bo classes, glued to a screen because they aren't allowed to run and play like the rest of us did.

Maybe I'm not paranoid enough, but your child is more likely to get abducted by your estranged ex-husband than a weirdo pedophile. Hell, it's even more likely they'll run away from home since their parents are overbearing buzzkills who take them to outdated exercise classes.


Friday, August 15, 2014

A quick "Fuck these people right here" list.

Or lord, I bring back the blog and suddenly a week of why I put it on hiatus suddenly happens. It's been a shitstorm in the comments sections since the protesting in Ferguson, Mo., and of course the racists gonna racist. You get one day of some mild rioting and a few (alleged) molotov cocktails and suddenly every frightened white person twenty miles away shits themselves like the Huns are coming.

Fake pictures of Michael Brown  (Because racist white people can't tell back people apart), rumors of Brown's mile long rap sheet (non-existent), videos of angry black people talking into cell phone cameras calling for more riots (People who don't live here and videos that are for the most part ignored by anyone in the actual protests) are being heavily circulated by shitty people.

Pictured: Not Michael Brown at all.

I love it when a comment stacks itself so perfectly. Black people aren't still angry about slavery (Well, the sane people aren't). However, using Obamaphones (started under Bush) welfare recipients and free health care as insults to an entire group of people sure gives me a reason to hate whitey.

LOL, this cat is reminding you to pet it!

Yeah, this is pretty much the same thing as a white cop gunning down an unarmed black teen in the streets, and then leaving the body out for a few hours. Did you guys also protest it, or was it the normal response of shaking your head, offering a prayer on Sunday if you remember to go to church and then move on with your lives.

Robert, shut the fuck up. Your "we" I'm sure means "We white people" and I have no time for that bullshit in my Army.

Guys, bacon tastes great no matter what stage it's in!

Yep, that's the number one priority here, the looting of a couple stores and a burned up QuikTrip. Not the systemic violence, the tear gas, the fear and anger of a community at the people sworn to protect and serve them. All we need to worry about is Shoe Carnival and the hair extensions place!

Tammy, there's a thing called insurance that helps out during times like this. Also, a lot of employers aren't as cold and heartless as you seem to be since materials are more important to you than a human life.


Just...come on! Get over here!

Guyz! No one said nigger, so it CAN'T be racist! It's just a comments section filled with words like apes, cockroaches, welfare and people who claim racism is over even though they probably cross the street to avoid black people walking towards them. They also have a black friend who is totally cool and talks, acts and does things just like me! It's just the black culture that's a problem, which my black friend isn't a part of because really I just see him as a dark skinned white person. 

It's shitty to call any human being an animal. It's called dehumanization, and it makes you disassociate yourself with your fellow people as if you're any better. 

Ever see animals in the wild? They're boring as all hell. Just sleeping, eating and shitting. Sounds like most of the people who comment on news facebook feeds. Boring, soulless people with nothing worthwhile in their lives beyond continuing the human race and raising equally boring children.

Fucking animals

There's one in every group

Protests were held all over the country last night in support of Michael Brown and against the militarization of police forces. It was great to see people in every city of every race come together for a small suburb in St. Louis, Mo.

Of course, some jerkoff has to go and ruin it. I'm confused by these people who are more concerned by one night of some riots than encroaching police brutality across the country and peaceful protesters being gassed and shot. If it happens here, it could happen anywhere

OH WAIT, it's probably because it's black people. I've been calling for the Constitutional defenders

Guess what, assholes? The rioting worked. One moment of a cop shooting a person turns into snipers and cops kitted out better than I was in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

Yeah, Africans sold other Africans into slavery just like things were back in the day of conquer, rape and enslave. I'm surprised Paul didn't throw in "THE IRISH WAZ SLAVES TOO!" argument.

I didn't really see anyone crying about slavery. If anyone was, it was latched onto like a man drowning in an ocean holding onto water wings and denying they're in the middle of an ocean.

Also, EVERYONE owned a European or two back in the days of the Barbary slave trade. The reason it's so fucking egregious in the US of A is because we fought the Revolutionary War to end the crown's hold over us. We drafted the Declaration of Independence and said "All men are created equal"

Then we had to wait 90 years to fight another war to make black men more equal. Then we had to have marches on Selma and Washington DC after another 80-90 years so black people could have the privilege to piss in the same urinal as black people.

But I guess since slavery is over and the president is black, we stopped racism! Yep, no one online refers to the elected president of the most powerful nation in the world as a house nigger. Because racism is defeated and everyone is treated super equal.

This dude is from St. Charles, so nothing more needs to be said. White people far away from any danger are the loudest people you can feel free to ignore


Why are people protesting at night? Don't they have jobs to get to? This makes no sense to me!

Maybe they are protesting at night because they have to work in the morning? Also, the Ferguson-Florissant school district is closed for the week because of the protests, so no, the kids don't have school. Lots of comments seem to think no one has a day off during the week, or works an early or late shift. 

There was also a super racist picture of Kermit the Frog drinking tea and claiming "none of the shoes stolen from Shoe Carnival were work boots, But that's none of my business."

And yeah, I fucking saw you post it on my facebook feed. You've already been filtered you cock. How dare you use Kermit to push your racist fucking nonsense.

Amen Candace.

The officer involved in the shooting will be named today, and it just doesn't matter anymore. Racists gonna racist no matter what. What's important is what the rest of us do. What matters is how WE move forward and leave these people behind. 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Ferguson riots and why everyone should just shut up about it.

I'm not going to screen cap anything for this one because you already know what the comments will focus on. Calling rioters thugs, telling them they need to go to college and all manner of other advice that misses the point entirely. White people from middle class homes who just don't understand why these black people can't be civilized and white just like the rest of us.

You get it. It's disgusting. You overhear it at work, you see it on Facebook, it's people who don't live in Ferguson telling people who do live in Ferguson how to live.

Ferguson was my old stomping grounds when I was a kid with a bicycle and nothing better to do on a Saturday. It's not Ballwin or Chesterfield, but it's filled with normal, honest people doing their thing to get by in the world. The demographics have been widely reported as about 70% African American, yet the government and police department is mostly white. Turns out when you are a minority who grows up marginalized and close to, or well inside, poverty levels you don't want to run for Alderman or become a cop.

I'm not black, but I watched what happened to young black people in the area. They were scrutinized more heavily by everyone for being young and black. They were watched in stores by shop owners, harassed by cops, harassed by older neighbors all for being young and black.

Take a moment and imagine yourself at Walmart and being obviously tailed by employees because you're young and black. 

Seems kind of unfair, doesn't it? The whole world looks at you like a criminal. Crime statistics say you probably are a criminal. Prison populations say you'll end up there one day because you're nothing better than a thug who smokes weed and lays around all day taking government benefits.

When the world has a lens on you every day, do you think you wouldn't lash out? If the world treated you like a criminal, do you think that would make you work harder?

I don't know what happened to Michael Brown other than he was shot and killed by a Ferguson police officer. What I do know is everyone lost their shit because of it. And I understand why.

This doesn't happen with black on black crime in North City because that's rationalized. It's just the way things happen. A Major General was recently killed in Afghanistan and no one outside the military community cared. There are no more protests against wars because it's expected now. We don't protest meth labs, white on white violence or any of the other "expected" deaths.

So why riot?

Imagine this: You're trying to get a doctor to pay attention to a problem you're having, but the doctor just ignores you. You're in pain, something is wrong and the doctor just has his back to you, ignoring your pleas and talking about whatever they feel is important. He's the doctor and you're just a lowly patient, so you have to shut up and wait until maybe he can get to you.

So you pick up his jar of tongue depressors and smash it to the ground while screaming at him.

The doctor turns and looks at you with disbelief and says "Why would you do that? You're such a monster!"

This is why you see black people rioting and white people not (unless, of course, they win a sporting championship.) As a middle class white person, I'm used to people listening to me when I need something or have something to say. I'm not now, nor have I ever been marginalized based on my race or gender.

But when you're poor and black, no one wants to listen to you. You're too poor, too black, don't vote enough or any other hundreds of reasons to not listen to anything you say. You're an eighteen year old who smokes weed and hangs out with his friends late at night and I'm intimidated by that, so your opinion doesn't matter.

You're a thief, a liar, a thug, a drug addict, a drain on my tax dollars. You should do better and tell your thug friends to do better too because you don't matter, you fucking cockroach.

I'm not condoning violent actions, but if the response to my anger was wooden bullets and tear gas fired at me into my own back yard?

This is exactly what every doomsday prepper and Missouri militia nutjob has been crying about, but you won't see them stand on the front lines of Ferguson protecting the rights of the residents against the jackbooted government thugs. Every person who has ever clutched their guns and cried about the Constitution should be out there in Ferguson demanding due process and standing between the police and the protesters.

But they won't. No one will stand with the protesters. They won't listen to black people when you do it peacefully, they won't protect you when you fight back. This would hardly be a bump on the media radar if it wasn't for the rioting and you're crazy if you think peaceful protests would have gotten anything done. The feet of the Ferguson police are being held to the fire by the world because of a burned down gas station and photos of officers in riot gear holding back snarling dogs.

Yeah, I'd set some shit on fire too. 

Friday, August 8, 2014

Iraq 3.0

I've found myself in a couple wars in the middle east and I can say with absolute certainty that I don't want to go back. It's hot, smells bad and a lot of people are trying to kill me at any given time. It's the same reason I don't like camping.

The President ordered airstrikes on some artillery being moved by ISIS in Iraq because it could have been used to attack targets with Americans in them. It's pretty standard for us to protect our people and let the locals finish off whatever fight they have going on if it doesn't directly threaten us or anything we want.

The lines between the right and left stopped being blurred about three years ago. Now it's just an amorphous gray as internet people try to use either side as some kind of vitriolic insult. Best part is you can cater it to your needs!

What I'm saying is you're nothing but a stupid conservative who only cares about your tax money. Just like a god damn liberal! Just can't trust you socialists.

I've been searching around for information about Christian children being murdered by ISIS. The only websites I manage to come across are weirdly named news sites I've never heard of. I don't want to lend any more credence to mainstream media than they deserve, but if CNN and FOX news aren't screaming about dead children, then I assume it hasn't been verified by anyone.

The only thing I've seen is everyone linking to one Christian leader making the claims in an interview. I'm not going to say ISIS isn't filled with a bunch of genocidal assholes, but this sounds like someone trying to make things sound worse than they are.

And good job on the dehumanization there Don. It's easy to compare people to cockroaches when they don't share your religion or culture. Nope, they're just people who will come over to America and do some old fashioned rape and murder.

I know this is difficult to comprehend, but it's not always about us Americans.

Of course, my other issue is the mentality that because Christians are being killed, we need to step in like we're some kind of Christian nation. Or maybe it's because they are children. Which is why everyone talks about taking out the African warlords who drug children and turn them into brutal fighters at the age of ten (LOL no they're mooslims)

No one wants us to be the world police until it's something they feel threatend by. As if ISIS is going to board longships and come raid Maryland or something.

Well shit, I'm sorry guys. As a nation under God, we have to protect our fellow Christians and Jews, even though this dude is an atheist? How does any of that make sense? Also, when did ISIS or any Iraqi terrorists take the towers down? And thirteen years ago, Congress had us invade Afghanistan because terrorist training camps were there. you think people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about just comment on the internet, regardless of their stupidity? 

YOU'RE STILL WELCOME, EUROPE! Lord knows you wouldn't have been about to curtail one of the worst military planners without the brute cock of the American military. With our conscription and ability to spend obscene amounts of money.

Jenna is a special kind of conspiracy flower. She starts with information that's wrong, but at least it's not crazy. I don't know what the current Rules of Engagement are in Afghanistan, but I'm pretty sure we can shoot people who are attacking us. Shit, it's kind of our thing to shoot people who are shooting at us. 

I also love people like this who think propaganda is only on their homefront. Did I miss a memo at some point? When did we all just decide to trust what the Russian government has to say about anything? It's a trend I've been noticing on the internet where people link to as if the actual state run media of the former USSR is something to be considered with gravitas. That's like linking me to a youtube video as some kind of 9/11 conspiracy proof.

I mean, in some ways I can understand the "Government is not out to protect our military" based on how terrible the VA is currently. But as I said before, we protect our own. If we have an embassy in a country about to go Coup de Tata for now, we'll get our people out.

If I were the American government, I wouldn't be hiding shit in the middle of Iraq when there is a bit of a war going on. Unless it's the Arc of the Covenant or some other region specific treasure that TOP MEN haven't had a chance to examine.

War is complicated. I don't imagine any decision is taken lightly when it comes to airstrikes in a foreign country. As such, we shouldn't talk lightly about what's to be done, why to do it or how.

Well, scratch that. Some people should question and debate things like this. Not these assholes.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Stranger Danger: Every kid is going to get abducted

I've spoken before on how everyone is stupid for thinking America is filled with violent thugs waiting to steal your car, your daughter and all your guns (oh wait that the govermants harhar.)

I'm not going to claim there aren't legitimate threats in this world. I've been  mugged in my own neighborhood and it hasn't stopped me from getting out and about in my neighborhood. I can't live under constant fear of the outside world, it would drive me insane. However, I know how to watch for potential threats and take action accordingly.

Also, I was mugged by someone from the other side of the city and he was caught within an hour because the people in the neighborhood don't want that kind of bullshit in their back yards.

Fox 2 posted about a man posing as undercover cops offering children candy to get into his car. The kids did exactly what anyone should do when confronted by an undercover cop with candy and bugged out.

I feel I got similar stranger danger training from my parents that these kids did. Don't get into a stranger's car, no matter what. If someone tries to get you to get into their car, run away. If they grab you, go for the eyes or the balls to get away. Then they pushed me out the door because they were tired of dealing with me for the day and it was only ten in the morning.

I can't even imagine how fucked up her son is going to be in the future if mommy doesn't let him roam free. Boys especially need to jump fences and poke dead bodies with sticks without their parents hovering over them.

So hovering over this person's profile shows her job as All Star Mom at Full Time Mommy, effectively taking away any shred of personality she may or may not have possessed before having a kid. I imagine people like this spent "crazy" nights in Vegas by drinking too many overpriced martinis and telling her friends she loves them while crying at a five dollar craps table.

Though I sometimes wished people like this live around me. My neighborhood is filled with loud kids wandering around being kids. 

What did you do, go out and card them? I recognize all the kids who wander my neighborhood at this point. These two were using the buddy system and maybe their mother looks out for neighborhood kids and expects everyone else to as well. You know, like how a community works. Just look out the window and see if there's some kids being kids.

Avoid vehicles? Like, don't play in the street? Or maybe just tell kids not to get into cars with people they don't know. Kids aren't stupid, yet people for some reason think none of them can think for themselves or recognize danger.

It's a wonder we've survived as a species this long!

You see what all the time? Bullshit news reports about kids being abducted, or actual abductions? Because either one needs to be addressed.

If I could be that asshole without kids who talks about how best to raise your kids for just a second. Don't push your fears onto your kids or they'll just grow up jumping at shadows and never getting a chance to explore. They'll miss out on important lessons you should be teaching, like "Don't take candy from strangers" because you decided it's not worth teaching since they're going to be chained to the radiator before and after school. 

Eventually that kid is going to break out and they will need all the information you can cram into their stupid little brains. Because free candy is a pretty awesome deal to a nine year old if they don't know better